Sunday, 28 June 2020

These Decisions Can Increase Your Happiness


When you use smart decisions and self-awareness to shape your life, it will reflect your deepest aspirations and your fondest dreams.
1. Make your life your own. Decide to re-decide. Re-examine your goals and dreams. Don't just assume that what you wanted yesterday is still the right thing for you. Have your goals and dreams changed? Give yourself the freedom to decide today what you want your life to be about.
2. Make your job a joy. Decide to revitalise your career, or try a new one. Ask yourself if you're really happy and stimulated with your work. If you're not, or if you feel unappreciated or frustrated by a lack of advancement, consider a change. Understand the corporate agenda and be realistic about advancement opportunities at your present job. If you feel you need a change, you may be able to move to a different position or department within your company, or you may want to look for a new job entirely. If you stay at your present job, ask for raises and promotions, if you feel that you've earned them.
3. Take it to the bank. Decide to secure your financial position. Get out of debt, keep yourself on a budget, invest your money wisely and keep abreast of your financial situation. Many women allow their partners to take care of financial matters, only to find themselves unprepared if they become divorced or widowed. Remember, financial stress is one of the greatest stressors of all.
4. Why are you here? Decide to create meaning in your life. Identify the purpose and meaning of your life and define why you are here on earth. When you understand your purpose in life, losses are easier to bear and all other decisions are easier to make.
5. Share your bounty. Decide to give something back. Donate money or put your talents, skills and experience to use by volunteering for causes you care about. People who volunteer have been found to be happier and healthier than those who don't. Remember that charity begins at home, so give to your own family, friends and neighbours.
Whatever you choose, if you make smart decisions, the best is yet to come. Using your creativity, and giving back from the wisdom you've gained through experience, will enhance your value to others and to yourself. - excerpted from The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty.
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Sunday, 21 June 2020

Start by Prioritising Your Happiness


Some people treat happiness as their main goal. When you ask them what they want in life they say, 'to be happy'. But happiness can be elusive. It creeps up on us when we least expect it, when we find ourselves smiling at a beautiful sunset, a table laid for a family meal, succeeding in a challenge, watching our friends laugh at a terrible joke.
Happiness is rarely about expensive gifts or acquisitions. So when planning for a positive, fulfilling life it's important to start by prioritising your happiness. Let's look at what this entails.
Practise daily gratitude. This doesn't mean settling for second best or sitting back on your laurels, but is about being grateful for what you have and finding a balanced, grounded approach to life. Appreciation of others, valuing the lessons learned from challenges and setbacks, the relationships in your life, the food, air, roof over your head, running water, all can all be taken for granted but are things many others don't have.Those people would be happy to be in your shoes.
- Happiness comes from being inspired, so ensure you have things that motivate you to improve, to be better, reach a higher level. This may be learning new skills, expanding your area of expertise, focusing on a new direction, something that elevates your vision, stretches you and brings a sense of achievement.
- Leaving our familiar comfort zone can be scary and exhilarating, yet often results in us feeling happy and proud of ourselves afterwards. Even trying new food, another route to work, having a go at something we're apprehensive about can prompt a positive shift in our thinking and a happier sense of self.
- Being challenged is important to happiness too. Being receptive to new ideas and initiatives, being prepared to say, 'yes' even when unsure of yourself. Why not say 'yes' first and work out how to do it afterwards! Self-improvement and development bring their own happiness and fulfillment.
- Do things you do well. Being challenged is often a good experience but if life is already stressful making time to do something you know you're good at can be an important reminder of how competent and capable you are. And we all need a little window of success in a stressful life. Enjoy it, even if it's icing a cake, putting up shelving or supporting an elderly neighbour.
- Rewards can bring happiness. Yes, we deserve to be rewarded for our efforts financially. We need to live and pay our bills. But also reward yourself by ensuring you have a space, a place where you go and feel secure, able to relax. It may be your bedroom, with lovely prints, cushions, flowers and music. When you're there you close the door on the world, destress and chill.
- Being involved with others can bring happiness; teaching, mentoring, coaching, volunteering are often fulfilling experiences. And the people we're involved with may bring new ideas, inspiration, suggestions of their own that add value to our lives.
- Don't follow the crowd. Others have their own stories, motivations and limitations. They may begrudge you your energy and drive, preferring that you don't remind them of their apparent lack of ambition, but we're all different and each of us have needs and wants that evolve over time. Reflect on those relationships and consider if it's time to reduce their influence in your life.
- Mix with people who like, support and encourage you; they're your fans and ambassadors. People who like you treat you with respect, may challenge you on occasion, but they're in your court and you're in theirs. Nurturing 'your' people allows you to be vulnerable, wrong sometimes and able to discuss any problem areas in an accepting, non-judgmental arena.
- Indulge your senses. Happiness comes from incorporating smell, taste, touch as well as music and beautiful art and colours. Make time to enjoy nature, your pets. Visit the beach, the forest and stimulate your senses; feel the sand underneath your feet.
- Give yourself regular free time. Happiness is about ensuring there's balance in your life. Prioritising time for fun, sport, exercise, reading is important. Sometimes work may require extra attention, but aim to regularly give yourself time out, perhaps just to sit with a coffee at the mall.
- Insist on being treated with respect by those you come into contact with. Good boundaries matter. Unhappiness can occur if we feel disrespected, treated dismissively or are taken for granted. Intercept bad treatment at the outset and be firm about good manners and consideration. But equally remember to invest time and attention in your good relationships.
- Deal with your demons. Happiness is about being at peace with ourselves, forgiving any failures, past mistakes or errors of judgement. If you're struggling therapy could be a good way to heal and recover from negative patterns and ways of thinking. Be gentle with yourself and move on from unhelpful self-talk. It can make all the difference to your happiness levels.
Look after yourself. Eat well, exercise, commit to regular sleep. Practise these tips, prioritise your health and happiness will follow.
Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.
She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tip of the day' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.
To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
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Sunday, 14 June 2020

Why Those Who Are Most Responsive To Change, Will Always Thrive


Go With The Natural Flow Of Events

What are you resisting right now in your life? Is it the sudden change of circumstances in relation to the Coronavirus? Is it something you're missing out on, such as being in contact with loved ones, a friend, work colleagues or others? What negative emotions are you experiencing as a result? Is it anger, frustration, anxiety, fear or something else? How are you responding to them?

I realise I'm asking a lot of questions but it's important we understand what is the cause of our emotions. Now, granted, you might say I'm angry and frustrated being isolated from others against my will. And you wouldn't be wrong to feel this way, however what is the fundamental reason behind it? You see, the emotions you're experiencing may not only be attributed to separation. There could be something deeper beneath the surface that warrants your investigation. It is my experience, working with individuals over the years, that those who are most responsive to change always thrive.

These are people who are psychologically flexible and embrace what life throws at them. It doesn't mean they like what is happening. And I'm not suggesting you like what is taking place either because that would be remiss of me. What I am inviting you to do, is accept your current conditions to the best of your ability and make the most of it. Is this something you're willing to give your attention to? Could you entertain the idea that you needn't like your current circumstances but stop resisting it?

Resistance is futile because ultimately reality trumps our struggles and emotions. And who says life ought to meet our expectations of how things should unfold? Life is a self-sustaining system, operating with its own natural laws. We must learn to abide by them because we are a drop in an ocean of a vast cosmic intelligence, working tirelessly to maintain order. But sometimes, what we initially experience is chaos expanding to create order. It makes it easier if we stop fighting what is happening and go with the natural flow of events. This is what is meant by being grateful. It's the idea of looking for hidden gems contained within unexpected events.

Life Is Not Personal

Assuredly, what we give our attention to becomes our focal point. So, if you direct your attention to unpleasant circumstances, you will find evidence of it (confirmation bias) and call it into your experience. But this comes at a cost to your well-being, which is paramount to your mental and physical health. Responding to change affirmatively means that even though circumstances are not as we like them to be, we can turn misfortune into triumph. It means looking for the silver lining in every experience, even if we have to look hard, there will always be a positive lesson.

Listen, life is unfair. When we were protected by our parents or guardians as youngsters, we may have assumed life was fair. But we mature and discover through heartbreak, setbacks and disappointments, life is anything but fair. This is because life is not personal. Read that again and mark it somewhere on your computer or smartphone. Life is not personal. You are part of life's ecosystem and when you cooperate and collaborate with this energetic force, circumstances will benefit you.

So, back to my earlier questions about what you're resisting right now. How can you take that experience and find a hidden treasure amongst it? Could you give yourself the gift of sitting with your negative emotions, to explore what is at the heart of your resistance? I assure you, this practice alone, can change your life more than you realise.

It will empower you to control your emotions and understand their underlying motive. You needn't struggle with life because doing so means resisting the gifts it brings. Those gifts will seldom come in the form you hope for. They are often disguised as: hardship, pain, struggle and disappointment and requires we face them with optimism instead resistance. I often asked myself: Why do some people struggle with change while others take it in their stride? Why don't these people let their experiences get them down? What do they know that others don't?

I'm not convinced that successful people are any wiser or more intelligent than the rest of us. I'm certain however, they have experienced heartache, suffering and misfortunes to know that hardships don't come to disturb our peace, but to anchor us in our resilience and sharpen the saw of our character. That is why those who are most responsive to change will thrive because they move with their circumstances and make the most of it. So, give that gift to yourself right now. Give yourself the gift of sitting with your emotions for 30 minutes, to explore what is really going on beneath the surface. Give yourself the gift of unlocking your true wisdom. It is only then you will realise that thriving isn't a state of mind but a way of being in the world.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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Saturday, 6 June 2020

Discover Why This Is the Best Time to Re-Evaluate Your Career


Life establishes a rhythm and a pattern. It is often referred to as the status quo. As the world continues to evolve, you may either feel as if your life is adapting along with it, or your career is never changing, growing, or moving forward. Days go by and nothing changes. Your thoughts of the future are focused on getting ahead and perhaps how you'll create better traction for advancing the knowledge, skills, and talents you possess. Perhaps you feel under-appreciated, you've been over-looked for positions, and/or you believe you are under-paid for your role. Whatever the case may be, your daily routine may have been consumed with timely thoughts about achieving a better future.
Then when a significant lifetime event occurs, such as a worldwide crisis, it creates an opportunity to re-evaluate the thoughts and plans you've had for your career. When that occurs you have a choice, you can use it as a time to reflect and redirect your focus, or you can give into fear and become paralyzed with inaction. While it may seem counter-intuitive, take this time to re-prioritize your goals and re-review your career plan. The reason it may feel like an inappropriate approach to take, while you await resolution of a situation which seems so out of control, is that being productive can actually help to calm your mind and put you in a logical frame-of-reference.
While you are in the process of evaluating your career, and developing new plans to revive it again, you will find yourself better able to control your emotional reactions to the events you are hearing and reading. This is due to a shift in how your mind is processing information, or taking cognitive control once again of the flood of information being received through working memory. You can initiate this type of process by implementing a guided career overview plan and asking yourself a series of self-analysis questions.
Guided Career Overview
You first begin an overhaul process by clearing the mental clutter in your own mind. There will be information and misinformation you have been collecting about current events, which has been creating doubt, fear, and likely a sense of unease over time about your future. Start by evaluating the needs for yourself and those who either depend upon you or live with you. Then search for valid sources of information, not sources of second-hand information. Go directly to those sources which will provide you with facts, data, and statistics. This is the only way you can make any plans with certainty, and stop the flow of speculation from entering your mind. You will find you are also engaging the use of logic and critical analysis skills as you use this mental process.
After you have mentally prepared yourself for the basic needs required, and you have engaged your rational thinking skills, now you can begin to use those same reasoning skills for a review of your career plan. At this point in time it is likely your entire perspective of your career has changed, priorities have shifted, and the manner in which you work has changed. You may either work from home as a remote worker, or you may have found yourself without work now. Whatever the case may be, and as difficult as you may find it to be, this is the time to conduct a guided career overview. Now more than ever, you are viewing your career from a completely different perspective.
To get started, itemized your career goals. If you did not have clearly defined goals, create a list for your future in increments of two-year periods. This is a different approach than you will read within many self-help articles and it is one I've used as a career coach to help improve the success rate of achieving each milestone. When goals are set too far out, those goals seem too long term and can be easily forgotten. Shorter goals serve as checkpoints to keep in mind and also can become motivational signposts to celebrate along the way, as each are completed. Should you have career goals already, you can re-develop them into a two-year approach as I've described.
As you are thinking about career goals, it is possible you may not know exactly where you are headed or what direction you would like to take next in your career. This is when the idea of visualization can be helpful, as a tool for career development. Imagine yourself two years from now, with the current crisis resolved, and describe what you see, feel, and think about for your job or career. Consider what you aspire to be or become, now that you have a new perspective on life. If you are satisfied with your career and now want to spend more time with those whom you care about, perhaps your next goal will be seeing yourself in a stable position, becoming an expert in this role.
Self-Analysis Questions
Now that you have begun the process of evaluating your career, from the perspective of examining what your future might be in the upcoming years, you can ask additional targeted questions to continue the process of self-analysis. I've implemented the use of the following questions in various forms as a career development coach and perhaps they will help you as well.
Targeted Question #1: Am I inspired by the career goals I've established?
What you want to develop are specific, not generic career goals. An example of a generic goal would be: I am going to be recognized for my hard work within two years. In contrast, the most effective checkpoints to develop every two years are those which inspire you to grow and make progress, depending upon what your priorities are for your life and career. For example, if you want to remain steady and stable, then visualize yourself becoming an expert at this time and point. If you want to advance, name a specific position you are interested in pursuing. As an example, if you aspire to move into a management position, set that as a marker for your first checkpoint.
Targeted Question #2: Will there be anything holding me back from reaching these career goals?
When you have established inspirational checkpoints, over specified two-year time periods, next you can ascertain if there will be anything needed to make certain you are prepared. For example, will you need any training or continued education? Will you need to gain new knowledge and/or acquire new skills in order to progress or advance? You may need to think ahead and conduct research, in order to prepare your self-development plan. After conducting research, you can then map out the upcoming months and further refine the steps you'll take to work towards a new outcome.
Targeted Question #3: Have I been engaged in any form of negative self-talk?
You may or may not be aware of the thoughts being held about yourself, and this is something I recommend you start to become more conscious of and pay attention to. This self-talk can be supportive, and help you feel good about your life and the decisions you make, or you can be stuck in a pattern of negative self-talk that belittles and undermines your best intentions and efforts. Some of the hardest lessons I've witnessed others learn as a career coach is that of self-empathy, or being able to forgive oneself for past events and perceived mistakes. If you can support yourself, even when you find yourself in the worst possible situation, you will find recovery occurs much sooner.
Targeted Question #4: Do I believe I can reach and complete the first career goal established?
This question ties directly into the prior question about self-talk, and it relates to your self-beliefs. If you were to look at the career plan you've developed for yourself, would you honestly state you could achieve it? Do you believe you have the potential to complete whatever you put your mind to accomplish? Those may seem like obvious questions and yet, if you cannot reconcile your beliefs with your career plan, you may never accomplish the goals you have established. A belief begins by feeling some level of hopefulness rather than hopelessness. If you are developing a future plan, then you must believe to some extent your future can change. If you are creating this plan for any other reason, it will not occur. This is the time to decide: I believe in myself and I believe I can meet these goals.
Targeted Question #5: Do I know what I am capable of accomplishing?
In order to solidify your beliefs, and make them meaningful rather than hollow statements, you should begin with an assessment of your strengths. Your strengths are the foundation which creates your capacity to create change, learn, grow, and adapt. You will use these strengths to also work on areas of development. As you look to the future, and you are assessing what you need to be prepared, do not consider yourself to have shortages or weaknesses. These are opportunities for professional development. You also do not need to be afraid to identify areas that need improvement, just be aware and ready to prepare. You can adapt and you have both a capacity and potential to learn. This renewed sense of self-awareness will ultimately make you stronger as you look to the future with confidence.
Is It Time for a New Career Path?
Conducting a career analysis can be an eye-opening experience, especially if you have a new sense of self because of world and work conditions. Once you have completed the process above, you may know with certainty what direction your career path is headed in, assuming working conditions return to normal sometime soon. You may feel a sense of renewal about the type of work you are performing and want to remain in the same job and with the same employer. However, the analysis may cause you to consider a different perspective. Perhaps now your priorities have changed, or have been re-emphasized, and now you feel strongly about finding a new career path. The analysis has now helped move you in another direction and set a plan in place to begin a journey towards another destination. No matter which of these scenarios is matched to you, you should feel empowered to become better in charge of your career and ready to take action, once the business world is functioning again.
The Value of Productive Thinking
The economic health of the nation is troubling, and it is unknown when businesses will be functioning at some level of normalcy again. Yet this should not stop you from developing a career plan and preparing for the future. If history is any indicator of how humanity and the economy operate in times of global crises, there will eventually be a recovery period. It may not occur quickly and for many businesses, there may be a significant return to growth time period needed. However, you can still keep your mind sharp and focused on your own self-development, which in turn will allow you to better address both a time of crisis and recovery. As you work on your own developmental plans, you engage the rational aspect of your mind and this keeps emotional reactions under control. The more you can continue to think in a productive manner, the better you are able to care for yourself and others as well. Perhaps logical thinking will help to sustain you, and the business you work for, as you await the crisis to subside.
Dr. Bruce A. Johnson is an inspirational author, writer, and teacher.https://ezinearticles.com/?Discover-Why-This-Is-the-Best-Time-to-Re-Evaluate-Your-Career&id=10277434
Dr. Johnson's career has involved helping others learn, including people and organizations. His roles have included Manager of Training and Development, Human Performance Improvement Consultant, Online Instructor, Career Coach, Curriculum Developer, Manager of Faculty Development, and Chief Academic Officer.
Since 2005, Dr. J has specialized in distance learning, adult education, faculty development, online teaching, career management, career development, and human performance improvement. He has a Ph.D. in Postsecondary and Adult Education, a Certificate in Training and Performance Improvement, and a Master of Business Administration, MBA. Presently Dr. J is a Core Faculty member for one of the premiere online universities.
As a scholar practitioner, Dr. J was published in a scholarly journal and he has been a featured presenter at an international distance learning conference. He has also published books, eBooks, and over 200 online articles about adult learning, higher education, distance learning, online teaching, and career development, helping to fulfill his life's mission to teach, mentor, write, and inspire others.
To learn more about resources that are available for educators, along with career and professional development, please visit: http://www.drbruceajohnson.com/


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